7 February, 2020
It can be a devastating experience when your “I do” becomes “I don’t.” Whether your divorce was a long time coming or a sudden shock, it will affect you and those close to you in more ways than one.
If you’re finding it difficult to deal with a divorce, don’t fret. Here are some tips to help you cope with this stage in your life and make the process a bit easier.
Recognise and Accept Your Emotions
Sadness, anger, frustration, confusion, anxiety, fear, uncertainty and exhaustion. These are just some of the things you’ll feel when you go through a divorce. You might even feel relief or excitement at some point, and that’s not weird at all. Recognise everything you feel and accept that you will be feeling these mixed emotions for a while yet, even after the divorce is finalised. More importantly, recognise that these feelings and reactions about the divorce will diminish after some time.
Get a Reliable Lawyer
It might involve a lot of conflicting emotions, but you should understand that divorce is a serious legal business. You signed a binding contract on your wedding day, and now you are about to terminate that contract. This simply means that you need the help of a reliable attorney. There are plenty of divorce lawyer Perth firms you can choose from but do remember to take into account factors like experience, cost, and even rapport with the assigned lawyer. With the help of a competent divorce attorney, you can be sure that your rights will be protected and the law will be upheld.
Build a Supportive System
The divorce might be between you and your spouse, but it doesn’t mean that you have to go through it alone. Merely sharing your sentiments with your loved ones can help you overcome bouts of bad mood. On the other hand, there may be times when your family and friends could feel more smothering than nurturing. In this case, you might need to look outside your usual circles. Try to join a support group, where you can also learn from the experiences of others. If you want, you may even go to therapy.
Your support system may also include your lawyer, providing unbiased third-party advice. If you need help in managing your finances, consider looking for an advisor to help you make sound decisions about money. Remember that a divorce is not only about your emotions. There are a lot of legal nuances and financial aspects that need to be addressed.
Take Care of Yourself
A divorce can be a harrowing experience, to say the least. It can take a toll on you in various ways, but your mental and emotional health could suffer some of the biggest blows. That’s why it’s important to pay attention to self-care. Take some time to relax, and do the things you love. If you need some alone time, let your support system know that you’re not pushing them away. You should also focus on your health by eating right, getting enough sleep, and squeezing in even just a few minutes of exercise each day. When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to deal with whatever life throws at you.
Look Forward to the Future
When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to be short-sighted. You see only the endless hours of meetings and legal proceedings and court appearances. However, no matter how long the process could take, remember that your divorce will be finalised one of these days. Things will never be the same again, and that’s a good thing. Whatever things are happening now are preparing you for something better. Again, take care of yourself. Look forward to the future with all of its possibilities. It’s easier said than done, but it could be done!
Don’t Forget the Children
If you and your spouse have children, don’t forget about them (and their feelings) while going through a divorce. Younger children, especially, might have a hard time grasping the concept that their parents will not be together anymore. The most important thing is to assure them that the divorce is not their fault. Moreover, let them know that they can still count on you to be there for them. Don’t involve your children in any conflict and most of all, don’t make them take sides. Be honest, firm, and, just as you do with yourself, let them know that it’s okay to feel a lot of different things about the divorce.
Getting a divorce is not a walk in the park. For some, it can be utter torture. Still, it’s not the end of everything. Think of divorce as a way to cut ties with the past and start anew. Hopefully, these tips can help you cope with the situation in a more positive way. Good luck.
Contributed by Leo Cruz.
